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whisper softly into my soul <33 [entries|friends|calendar]

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[06 Jan 2010|11:09am]
[ mood | artistic ]

You take my breathe away. <3

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[13 Dec 2009|11:21pm]
[ mood | curious ]

Do you ever question who you are, where you’re going? It’s a warning, be honest, it’s a warning. Who are you. What do you want. Where are you going? Close your eyes. Where are you going? Heaven or hell? Are you going to fight? Get back up again, face it. Swallow the pain, the blood, and endure it. Where is god? It’s a brave new world, to find out who you really are. We make mistakes, we break them. I believe in the light, in the fight for justice, for god, for yourself. Who is here for you? Who is not. What if you are the only person left? You can only count on yourself. Are you ready? Tell me are you ready to see? To see who you are. Look in your eyes, what color are they? How do you feel? What time is it? Take a drag of a cigarette. Walk in the pouring rain, run in it, dance in it. Do things you have no imagined you would ever do before.

Can you be free? Can you rise up above the hardest things possible? Past loss, past friends that betrayed you? Past a bad grade? Past news a loved one has cancer or a terminal illness? Who are you? Can you fight it? Do you believe in yourself? Will you keep fighting for what’s right? If you’ve cried, fell, felt so hurt you feel like you can’t hold your head up this is for you. Tell me who you are. Tell me where you came from, where you will be tomorrow? Will you be here tomorrow? Or will you die? Savor it. Every day. When you breathe, you are breathing in the air god has given you. It’s a gift. Life is a gift.

So tell me, is it all worth it? Is it worth it to fight as hard as you can? To fall so many times and bleed and bleed out your heart? Do you wonder what it’s like to finally move up, and battle something?

Find inner strength. Find the light inside of you. It’s there, it might be right in front of your face but it’s there.

Keep searching.

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Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage [25 Jan 2009|08:31pm]

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

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Wrote this last year - gimme feedback! [09 Nov 2008|02:34pm]
[ mood | creative ]

I found this on my computer, I'd write short stories a lot. This one is a bit depressing lol but I love the way i wrote it. I have more but they are not finished ones. I feel inspired to write today for some reason. :)


It “Started”
A short story written by Frankie

It started at a college party. It began with heavy duty alcohol. Yes, the kind people talk about getting wasted with every Friday evening. I started with Vodka, Smirnoff and Captain Morgans. It started with shots, with guzzling down a whole bottle and having people in the background yelling chug chug chug! It started at small house parties then at clubs, then at even larger college house parties. It started mixing every drink possible with coke, then with marijuana.

It started getting high. The room was lively, open and free. People were more down to earth more talkative, more awake then normal. In fact normal life was weird to you. It slapped you in the face every morning with a bad report card.

Wake up, Cassidy.

It started with rolling a joint and smoking up with your “so called” best friend. It started heavily, inhaling deeply. It started to go black. It was to breathe a syllable at a time. The time was now.




Coughing. It started off with coughing. Then grasping. Grasping onto anything you could mutter from your lips or grip with the ounce of consciousness you had left. I started with lying to your parents, and collapsing into your bed to be left in your room clouded up with smoke, in a deep thought. Then the deep thoughts vanish. Then you vanish. You float on the ceiling upside down. The colors would wash themselves together along with the big mess of you.

You’re a mess.
A big fucking mess.

It was to hide your stash under your pillow at night. To constantly look out the window and be aware of gunshots. You got practically any sleep during the week. You were failing your classes. Your hair is a mess and now you turn to me.

You started off with talking. Talking in slow, staggered sentences like you’ve been up for days. Your eyes search my face, looking for an answer. They are pale blue open with a tint of wretchedness.

Cassidy, are you okay?
Get up you fucking moron.
Look god in the fucking face.

Your lips part as if to speak but you don’t move. You just talk silently in soft whispers to yourself. And I sit here and wonder what you are saying to the world. Do you love yourself at all? If you do, you must tell me why you’re like this. Why you’re looking at me so puzzled, and why you are chewing on your bottom lip.

I want to help you. Now.

Don’t walk away please.
I grab your hand. It’s soft in mine but calloused from all of the previous attempts of escaping the law. Now as I stand here with you I want to know what it is like to be you. To be messed up and lying to everyone you know on the face of the earth just so you can save your own skin.

I can save you, you know. If only you let me help you.

I’m fine, I can han-han-handle myself. I’m-

I lied. I’m messed up so much you don’t understand. I’ve lived on the street for the past five months. Do you know what that is like? To wander around aimlessly, looking for food, for something to do, for shelter? My fucking parents hate me.

They hate me because of my addiction.

And that addiction is you.

You think you are normal but you made me this way.

You fucked things up and now I’m like this,
Just for you.

Are you fucking happy now?

I guess I was wrong. Your breathe is heavy now with raspy air flowing out of your beautiful tainted lungs; and now you heave, and you cough tremendously. Your cough reminds me of a smoker’s wheezing cough. I put my hand around your small waist and hold you close.

“I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay…everything will be okay” I tell you and I hold you in my arms and kiss away your tears. This time I promise you it will be okay.

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Feeling creative... [02 Nov 2008|05:46pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

by Me

The windows shake,
air thick with

we will crack under pressure
of our own
ice covered heart.


the windows will shake
with uncertainty.
of what will come.

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So.. [16 May 2008|03:22am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I don't want a boyfriend.

Period right now.

Way happier alone :D

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omg [28 Mar 2008|10:24am]
[ mood | shocked ]

i saw a jared leto look a-like on campus.

holy shit lol

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Plans for diet [12 Jan 2008|02:52pm]
[ mood | crazy ]


- Weight watchers muffin & slice of cheese
- 4 slices of banana
- Spinach Omlet


- Spinach Omlet
- Tuna sandwich
- Ramen Noodle
- Slice of apple
- Salad with hard bioled egg and cottage cheese


- Tuna Sandwich
- Steamed Spinach & White Rice
- Spinach Omlet
- BLT with apple slices (without the bacon)
- Fish

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New year Means new beginnings... [02 Jan 2008|01:08pm]
[ mood | awake ]

So I am tired of being overweight for my height. 140 pounds is not healthy for a person wo is 5'1. A healthy weight is 120/115 pounds. I don't care what anyone says I want to be healthy, rrecently i had some scary episodes where i got dizzy while I was driving and i keep feeling nausated and i am worried about getting heart disease from my abdomen being large. that is the biggest risk with having a tummy like that.

So this is the body i am going to shape up into:

and I might change my hair to be like this:

But idk

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I'm sick... [30 Dec 2007|07:10pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Of people trying to control every FUCKING thing i do. go ahead, call me a bitch, call me a cunt, i could care less. If you disrespect me, i am ONLY giving 3 chances this time around. I'm tired of being so fucking nice to everyone and letting people walk all over me.

you THINK you can CONTROL ME AND MY LIFE but you CAN'T. i am my OWN FUCKING PERSON. this is not directed toward one person but a group of people I have stumbled upon in my life. Chip is included in this.

If you have controlling behavors and you do not see it because you have like, no brian in your head, and yet you try to control everything, MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU WAKE UP AND LOOK IN THE MIRROR and see that you are only going to distroy yourself (people who are like this)

I mean i feel bad but i can only feel bad up to a point.

I am also not going to tolerate bitchiness in any form from anyone. guy or girl, if you mistreate me you are OUT OF MY LIFE FOREVER.

I really REALLY don't have time for bullshit like this.

So go ahead and call me a bitch, etc. but It's really time to grow up and into a MATURE adult.

*cough* *cough*

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I have to get alot of things out in one post... [26 Dec 2007|01:35am]
[ mood | angry ]

Yes, I am still not over my breakup with Dave. This happened 3 months ago, i understand but I was curious to see what he was up too and i saw on his myspace he added some dumb bitch from California and apparently she visited him. Then he proceeded to write something in his about me that offended me about the times i lied to him about "stupid shit". And that he was looking for someone who liked him for who he is, which of course i did but he clearly doesn't understand that i wanted him to change to less of a jerk. not a complete asshole to me. Regardless, Dave WAS the best boyfriend i've ever had. Here i was ready to give gim a second chance and like just be friendly towards him and say Merry Christmas because it is the holiday, you know. I figured I'd do that to be nice but once i saw that it hurt me even deeper. I understand I have to move on and I am. But The wounds are still cut so deep. I can't just move on with a drop of a hat it takes me a long time to get over something like this. I LOVED him. I was in love with him but he never really appreciated it like i wanted him too. And was a lousy boyfriend in the end which i don't understand why he'd just loose intrest in me completely to barely hug me anymore and call. i mean WHAT THE FUCK DID I FUCKING DO? NOTHING.

All i was was nice to this man. and he was nice to me in the beginning and then i get this BULLSHIT? I don't need this drama. Why can't he just be man enough to MESSAGE ME it takes FIVE FUCKING MINUTES TO MESSAGE SOMEONE OUT OF THIER DAMN DAY and just ask me how i am doing if he EVEN fucking CARED AT ALL after all of those times He'd hold and console me. He just stopped caring after i said something I should have held back with saying and that is i said that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. which i made a mistake to say. I shouldn't have rushed into saying something like that or rushed the relationship in the first place. it was my fault yes.

It hurts so much to be lead on like that for a year after saying I Love You and meaning it when the other person really didn't mean it that much. He could have told me he wasn't ready instead of leading me on like he did. I'm sitll angry about that. Now i am hurt even deeper. I realize I made mistakes but isn't the right and CHRISTIAN thing to do is to forgive and forget? and treat others the way they WANT TO BE TREATED?

I cried so hard today. Had kind of a really lousy Christmas, and I'm depressed about it. All i wanted was my family to be happy but dramma ended up happening between my aunt and my mom as usual and my aunt made it look like my mom was the victim for not coming to HER house on christmas day because of a gift she irresponsiblity planned then proceeded to call my mother while she was driving to work and tell her to stop "being immature". Excuse me but at least my mom didn't get married 3 times or get TATOOS AT 40 YEARS OLD and that she is not a CONTROL FREAK.


I'm so tired of the constant drama in my house. I just can't wait to live at school and be away from that drama. I can't take it anymore.

I had a nervous breakdown the other day because of all of these things I have to hold on my shoulders. I'm trying to make everyone happy while I go to school AND deal with my last breakup. And then it's so awkward when i go to fmaily christmas parties and they ask about him and im at the point of crying when i say his name and explain that we broke up.

I've just had it with everything.

That's why I'm always fucking out now. I hate being at home because I have to hear my father keep all this shit in and pour it on me and my mom which isn't fair to us.

I'm just all over the place right now. Just really upset.....

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Tipsy. [11 Nov 2007|01:40am]
[ mood | artistic ]

written by: me

Tipsy. Clumsy. A Disaster. Torn. House-ridden. Sea-glass eyes glazed over with artificial happiness. Tipsy. Laughs. Over-joyness. Attractive men in tasteful clothing they move through the loud bumping music of the club, on a hunt. Through the doors and past the bouncer outside. Tipsy. Low-cut shirts, shortdresses. A Mess of colors. A mess of cheap beer, laughter and smoke. Tipsy. Scribbled phone numbers, missed calls and slutty dancing. Tipsy. Jingling car keys that shimmer against the white-opaque moon. Tipsy.Broken heels, smeared makeup, alcahol stained breath. Keys in ignition, radio on full blast, speeding down the highway. Tipsy. Bright lights, metal bending, turning over, pavement screeching.Tipsy. Police cars, sirens, blood. Tipsy. Bad Mistakes, foolish choices, adolescence. Tipsy. Crying parents, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles, grandparents and friends. Tipsy. Flowers, gifts, headstones. A Funeral fit for three hundred. Tipsy.This could happen to you. Tipsy. Flowers and stuffed animals. No gravestone. Tipsy. Lost and Confused. Death.

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A Song [05 Nov 2007|11:13pm]
[ mood | creative ]

by Frankie

You take the words trapped in my lungs
And seal them with promises.
Does it feel like a revolution?
A Revolution to start a new beginning,
You take the words right from my lips.
Sweet surrender,
Let’s lie here and dream.
Let’s close our eyes and try.

Dust gathers on my clothes,
Frayed photographs lay torn
Goodbye my love.

You are so beautiful like a self tainted sin,
Paint me over,
Paint me over,
paint me over again,
Draw me like the creases of your lips,
Contours of beautiful breakdowns
We crossed the lines to begin
Paint me over
Paint me over
Paint me over again

The weight of these tears are heavy,
Can we see what’s inside?
You paint me like a rose,
With one last breathe,
You stroke out lines of my heart.

Dust gathers on your things,
Paint me like an artists paints a portrait.
Let’s start over again with your lies.

You are so beautiful like a self tainted sin,
Paint me over,
Paint me over,
paint me over again,
Draw me like the creases of your lips,
Contours of beautiful breakdowns
We crossed the lines to begin
Paint me over
Paint me over
Paint me over again

You are so beautiful like a self tainted sin,
Paint me over,
Paint me over,
paint me over again,
Draw me like the creases of your lips,
Contours of beautiful breakdowns
We crossed the lines to begin
Paint me over
Paint me over
Paint me over again

Paint me over again.

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[27 Oct 2007|04:41pm]
[ mood | blank ]

I haven't wrote in here in ages.

I'm doing okay i guess with me and Dave breaking up.
I'm healing my wounds. It was a wonderful relationship and He'll always be in my heart and i miss him at times. But i have to move on.

Dave if you read this, good luck with your racing career. I hope we talk sometime. I hope everything in your life goes well.

Well, I'm done here.
Maybe I'll write a poem for later?

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:( [03 Oct 2007|02:22pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Me and Dave broke up on monday. I don't know if we are ever going to get back together. I'm a complete wreck. :'(

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What the HELL? [19 Sep 2007|01:59pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

So my grandmother was talking to me about this weekend how my grandfathers birthday is on sunday and if me and dave wanted to go down to the boat on sunday and celebrate. i asked her if we'd go after church cuz dave would be over an hour later like around 1ish. then we would go down. and my father goes "God forbid you miss a day of church".

I'm sorry but i don't like to miss church. I go because if I don't go i feel like there is something missing during the week. I'm not getting relgion in for the week. But I do not tolerate insults like that. That was like a slap in the face that really pissed me off.

God forbid I'm fucking becoming Catholic that i found more meaning at this church than the one that has a bearded lady and a lesbian couple in it. That all they talk about is earth loving and today's latest CNN repoort. God forbid i find anything that is meaningful in my life because ignorant idiots constantly insult my relgion.

When is it so fucking wrong to find a way to become Christlike? and so hard to do that when you have arrogant and ignorant idiots in your face all the time, insulting you that you are A FOLLOWER. Excuse me? I didn't follow anyone. My boyfriend encouraged me to go to a service on a sunday and at first i wasn't sure if i should but then i decided for MYSELF. not anyone else. NOT ANYONE BUT ME. ME ME.

So after i went, i enjoyed the service so much because i got alot out of it by learning about God's teachings that i kept going. I've been going ever since December of 06. And i like it.

Why is it so hard to find friends and NORMAL PEOPLE who appreciate what I am doing? and not have to constantly get smacked around for what I BELIEVE IN?


Everyone just leave me alone and be happy for me.


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[18 Sep 2007|06:55pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

My hamster is dying.

She has wet tail

I'm pretty sad right now.

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school [06 Sep 2007|05:00pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

it started and already i have a ton of homework every week. and on top of that i have my internship.

i'm getting kind of anxious today idk why.

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going to the cape [11 Aug 2007|12:41pm]
[ mood | calm ]

i'll be in plymouth til thurs/saturday.


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Going to the beach today! [05 Aug 2007|10:00am]
[ mood | busy ]

Let's hope i get a tan. Dave and his family should be here in 20 minutes or so to pick me up. they are really so nice. This week i am going to Vans Warped tour for the first time! I'm really excited! Dave is going with me, I bought him a ticket. It's kind of my birthday present for him cuz he will be 21 on the 20th. :-)

Then saturday I will be in plymouth for a week so no updates. it's not like i update this anway.

One of my friends got mad at me because i made a mistake and i didn't ask her for her warped tour ticket so i wouldnt pay as much and she could get rid of hers. but i figure its not my problem that she couldnt go in the first place. i know she will find someone to sell her ticket too.

I'm tired of putting up with some crap that i put up with with people.

I don't know who posted in my honesty box in facebook about photoshopping pictures. I like the way i look, and as part of my feild photoshopping is art. so stop making comments about what i do.

Graphic Design is art. and I enjoy it.

I guess sometimes you have to say screw you to the people who do you wrong and put your damn foot down . just because i am nice doesn't mean you can walk ALL over me.


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